Day 1 - Accountability

Here in this blog I am going to be walking my re-definition of words, to become living words, words that I stand by, that represent what is best for all.

Accountability:

The fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

"lack of accountability has corroded public respect for business and political leaders"
synonyms: responsibility, liability, answerability
"there must be clear accountability for the expenditure of public money"
answerability, responsibility, reporting, obedience
"ministers' accountability to parliament"

antonyms: unaccountability the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.
"lack of accountability has corroded public respect for business and political leaders"

synonyms: responsibility, liability, answerability
"there must be clear accountability for the expenditure of public money"
answerability, responsibility, reporting, obedience
"ministers' accountability to parliament"
antonyms: unaccountability

How have I lived the word accountable, what has it represented to me in my life?

I remember as a child being told that I was very "grown up for my age, very responsible" my friends parents thought I was "such a nice girl, a good choice for their sons and daughters to be associated with.  I felt pleased with this analysis of myself, and I did my very best to embody and live up to the responsibility that I had been so gratefully entrusted with.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am supposed to be the accountable one, that one that looks after everyone else and takes responsibility very seriously, to the point that I am the one that everyone is looking at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a proud moment within myself when my friends Mothers would tell me I was a "good girl, very responsible" and within this make a vow to them that I would assume responsibility for my friends in my company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for this kind of compliment and acknowledgement from others, because my own Mother would tell me that I was irresponsible and unable to look after myself properly, so within this I forgive myself for not seeing realising and understanding how I am completely embodying this point of responsibility for others as something to be proud of, to make me feel better about myself in moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to; when things 'go wrong' in my environment, immediately look to see how I was to blame in someway, and within this go into an automation of taking responsibility for the problem, as mine.

I forgive myself that I haven't seen realised and understood how in fact I am placing responsibility outside of myself, in a way to avoid being my own self responsibility and looking at how I can take more care of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place others before me, without considering how it would effect me in the long run.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to become frustrated and annoyed when others don't give me the same consideration as I give them, as I have seen it in my minds eye.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that I am 'responsible' for me, and me alone, and unless the being is a child or needs care and attention, because they cannot provide it for themselves, I commit myself to see that I am not their keeper.

I forgive myself that I haven't seen/realised and understood, that when I am in protection mode, looking out for others, as being the responsible one, I rob them of the opportunity to make their own choices/mistakes.  I see realise and understand that I cannot, save/assist/help everyone.

I commit myself to place responsibility at my own feet, to embody self responsibility, so that I am able to completely take care of and look after myself, not disregarding others in anyway, but within this I commit myself to see/realise and understand that when I take care of myself and come from a place of self responsibility I will always do what is best for me/them/all.

I commit myself to look at the bigger picture, and see how sometimes when I am accountable for others and their mistakes, in a way to protect them, I am not only robbing them of a moment to discover themselves and who they are, I am infact trying to give myself some validation that I am a good person, a saviour of some sort.  I commit myself to see realise and understand how the words responsible and accountability are interchangeable, and when I live as a point of true accountability I will only be responsible for myself.

My redefinition of the word accountability and one I commit myself to live by:

Being responsible for oneself, in how one is in thought word and deed has an outflow, and within this being accountable is making sure that one always does what is best for all.