Day 3 - The Accommodating Competitor - Part 2 (comparison)

Another point of competition that comes up within me is the point of competition with other females, and how I perceive myself when I am with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other women. Specifically those in my age bracket.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my partners exes and within this look for similar points within them to copy, or make a point of, because within this I have created a belief that I am not good enough, without seeing/realising and understanding that I am the one that he is with at the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my face and the specifics of my face, like my nose, eyes, mouth, face shape to others, and within this find an acceptable face in a magazine that I have created a belief around as attractive, and within this secretly 'wish' that I looked like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those as 'stupid' that have cosmetic surgery, without seeing how deep the programming within them goes, and how it would be very easy for me to consider if I had the money, that there are points within me that I may consider changing.

I forgive myself that I haven't seen/realised and understood that within the stupid judgement I am in fact judging myself as stupid, for having comparison thoughts, within myself, instead of taking it easy and investigating where the thoughts come from and forgiving them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am getting old and within this I will no longer be acceptable in this reality because I will be an 'old person'  I forgive myself that I haven't seen/realised and understood how I am in fact creating a belief within and as me that over a certain age one is over the hill, so to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I am 'too fat'  that the version of myself in this moment is not good, that I look flabby and within this go into fear of showing certain parts of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to women of the same height and within this judge my weight by their weight for their height, and within this assume that the is an acceptable format.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accommodate my mind as the directive principle of how I should look, and within this what is acceptable based on my own opinion/attraction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to fend off ageing with expensive products, instead of seeing the simplicity of just stopping the thoughts/back chat and programming within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy into the mainstream media images of what is considered perfect and acceptable and within this attempt to emulate those models that I see on the pages of magazines.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete for anothers affections, by making myself more visible as I have seen it, and going 'over the top' to please, to remain in their favour,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that my voice is annoying others, and within this try to change to suit them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that my look is not good enough for others and within this try to change to suit them, and what they perceive as acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that I have to be a certain way for others to accept me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look up others on social media and compare myself to them, and within this look for flaws within and as them to make me feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to inflict discomfort and stress onto my body, through not accepting and allowing who I am and how I look.

When and as I experience myself as going into comparison and looking at  images of others and creating a belief within and as myself that I am not acceptable, I commit myself to slow myself down within and as my breath. And to re-MIND myself that I am going into old patterned behaviour of comparison within and as me, and within this how I look will never be acceptable, in my minds eye (I),  because I have created a belief within and as me that I am not perfect compared to images of others, and I commit myself to re- MIND myself this is a NO win situation, one that I will never be satisfied with, as it is based on judgement and opinion.   I commit myself to accept myself, as I am, regarding how I look and sound, and that within this I am a product of my parents,ancestry and DNA and this I cannot change, unless I spend a great deal of money, of which I am not going to do, so I look how I look.  I commit myself to remind myself that the bits that I can change in how my face ages and changes is my mind, in how I experience myself as inferior, and within this

I commit myself to keep forgiving and release all judgement that come up within and as me, to and towards others and myself.

I commit myself to see/realise and understand how I am creating competition within and as myself in that I am fighting for my supremacy in this world, as wanting to be a popular being, one that is admired and accepted for how I look, instead of seeing how I am creating the very opposite because I am resonating how I see/feel about myself out there, and within this it is how I will be perceived.

I see/realise and understand how when I am not happy about how I look, and within this I tell myself that I am having a bad hair day, fat day, ugly day.  I hold my body in tight positions where I am trying to maintain the best side of myself, or I will keep fiddling with my hair, or checking in a mirror to see how I look.  I see/realise and understand how when I am relaxed and comfortable within myself I project that image of myself out there, and within this I get compliments and told how well I look.