Day 6 - Calmness

" ....indigestion - here you have to be focusing on undercurrent emotions - seeing an anxiety here in the body that is subtle but constant, a constant tension that leads your body into the experience of a "zinging" sensation - so we'd suggest having a look at being aware of the BODY in moments where it gets tensed / zingy - but your awareness has to be in the physical to notice this - here you'll become aware of these moments and be able to release by relaxing yourself and so the body, these are inherent programmed reaction patterns in the physical"  Sunette Spies ( in a conversation via Skype with me a few months ago)

The zingy-ness I can relate to, it is so subtle but now I have a word to describe it I can see/feel it.

The Zinging sensation I get is like a worse case scenario, a place within myself that is buzzing with anxiety, and within this a type of reflux is happening as a churning of my stomach and the acid in my body becoming prevalent.   A toxic imbalance from my participation in thoughts feelings and emotions over time, often times not being noticed, and accepted and allowed to be a part of me.

I have been flagging the points where this sensation comes up, and it is usually when my mind is and has been most active, and I have noticed how my thought patterns are underpinned by some kind of paranoia and fear, which,  when I dwell on such thoughts brings about an anxiety within and as me like a tightening within my body.

The above is becoming easier to spot within me, and such a state I see/realise and understand comes up when I am "unsure of my future"  where I will perhaps worry about what is to come, without seeing/realising and understanding that I have a choice here, I can worry and stress and keep myself in the moment, or I can breathe and remind myself to look for practical solutions. I have come to see that worrying doesn't change a future outcome, and infact all that I create for myself in these moments is consequence within and as my own body.

So here I will look at re defining the word Calm.

Calm is a positive word to me, rolls off my tongue, as a soothing melody, and goes along with the words peace, and serenity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go off in my mind in fear and worry about a future outcome, which is me attempting to sabotage myself as someone that has no control over the future, and within this create a fear of the 'worst case scenario' as a point of lack of self belief and trust.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live the words 'go with the flow'  and that within this I am often looking to control the flow, without seeing/realising and understanding how I am in fact never a 'winner' in this point, because I am creating conflict within myself in these moments, that accumulate as stress within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequence within and as my physical body, as a form of indigestion, because I have stressed a point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to show myself as calm on the surface but be paddling like mad within myself, like the inexperienced swimmer trying to stay afloat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest the words stress/tension/worry as a point of how I experience myself physically, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the absolute power of slowing down within and as my own breath.

I commit myself to slow myself down, and to teach myself that art of relaxation, as an art form that flows within and as me as the breath of life.

I commit myself to look at calmness within me and to notice all the subtle changes that move me as energy.  I commit myself to take these movements and introspect in the following ways:

• To ask myself, " what was I thinking/worrying about just now";
• To write out what bothers me ;
• To forgive what is bothering me and let it go; and
• To pay attention to my breath, and make sure that I am breathing slowly and that my awareness is on my breath, and not in my mind, by utilising the 4 count breath technique. 

I commit myself to live the word CALM as a living word, and to remind myself when I experience myself as worried and fearful of the future, I stop and I breathe, and I remind myself that I am the creator of this moment, of how I experience myself, and that which is best for me is to relax and look at what I can create practically, to make my experience the best that it can be.

I commit myself to remind myself that stressing and worrying about a thing/situation/person/thought/feeling/emotion is not beneficial to me or anyone, because all that will happen is that I will create consequence.

I commit myself to GO WITH THE FLOW, to allow myself to take each moment of breathe as a moment of creation, where I decide to be the creator of my reality, and within this I see/realise and understand how I will then make a decision that is practical and will be the best for me in the moment.